Thursday, November 6, 2014

Letter To Myself


 

You are kind and loving person who gives too much to people, you spoil them.  I've noticed a trend with you and people. You give them all you have and share everything with them and they use you. It upsets me a bit to know that people are this way with you. I know you’re just trying to help and be nice but its best to calm down. There are several events where I think you got hurt. Like the time you gave your friend fifty dollars to buy her mother a gift. She never paid you back and she consistently made fun of you afterwards. Or your other friends who you told all your secrets to, only for them to get angry at you and tell the whole school them.  Most importantly your ex-boyfriend, who you gave absolute nothing less than everything to, who now ignores you when ask “what’s up”. He’ll be the one to make you realize you’re doing too much. That you need to question peoples (especially that display romantic interest in you) intentions. If they care about you or not. Do they show it in their actions? Do they make you feel unworthy or inferior because you’re different?  Do they care consider your feelings valid? Do they think your thoughts and views are important? The most important lesson of all is to give people time, to get to know the person. It’s very possible to love someone immediately after getting to know them for a while but it is also important to stay cautious of others.  Having Social Anxiety is hard in the mix as well. You want people to like you and love you so you try to make sure it happens. No matter the consequences as long as you’ve proved your loved to them. It’s not healthy to give so much you are only one person.  I think as a friend and as partner love, affection and time is what’s most important. If they need more you can always help every once in a while. Make sure its mutual too, that you’re not the only one giving.  People who truly love you won’t make you try so hard, you’ll just know.