Confessions

1: I want to be a role model to young girls instead of being a mother.
2: I never want children or get married. A waste of time.
3: (    ) = times god has reviled himself to me. (3) prophecies. (3) speaking in tongues. (1) spoke to me. Because of this I know he is real.
4: I always worry about being annoying. Am I annoying?
5: I don't think I'm capable of hate. Which sucks, some people I need to feel it for them. I don't hate them I'm just numb.
6: I once hated myself so much I didn't want to look in the mirror. I don't want to be at that place again.
7: I worry about dying before my time. What if I die before doing all I want to do.
8: I love having friends,, I want more. I wish I had a million. People who love and care about you are the best.
9: Being made fun of pisses me off to the core! Especially if its for nothing. I'm to kind for that.
10: I love people so much. It hurts how much love I have for other people. Even if they hate me or even don't like me back. I will always have some form of love for them.

Poetry's Friday (Thought Of As)

She has a useless brain
They say she's reckless and insane
Endangered
Untamed
Speeding mind
Unaware of time
When she cries
they laugh
Her presence is a drag
Worrying about useless things
Too Focused on you and me
A bit of anxiety
She may have a
Useless brain
Is Reckless and insane
Endangered
Untamed
Though aware
You think she does not
But she knows her name

Not Really Focused on Boys

The reason I'm not focused on boys is because well,there really isn't enough. By enough I mean not a lot of boys are my type. I have a lot of types but I usually go for a sweet,kind, quite, smart, odd,and attractive boy. The problem ( not to be offensive) is finding the last part ,attractive. I'm at a place in my life that I only have lust for boys nothing more. I often seem to be only acquainted with unattractive boys. Also it's not even that personality is a huge part of that. Most boys that I talk to are either on drugs or weird, too weird .Also when I really like a boy I become very shy.
Or when I do talk to them eventually I act very awkward. I become a stalker and get very needy. I get so nervous and overwhelmed. Its crazy. I wish they knew that. Its hard. Also since  I'm not in school I kinda have nobody to look at. I mean how can you focus on something that's not even there. In conclusion my standards are too high, I fall to hard,and they just don't exist my world. Other than that I love boys♥♥

Poetry's Friday ( LIES)

Lies
Tell Me the truth
Or lie
Be honest
Or say goodbye
Or you can make me cry
With your lies
Just lie
I know anyway
No need to hide what you say
Lie
You lie
SAY
YOUR
LIES

Poetry's Friday ( The Help)

The help.
I need you.
Help.
I have no one else.
Help.
Time is running out.
Help.
I get sadder each day.
Help.
I can't call.
Help.
I'm embarrassed to ask for your help.
Help.
Please.
Help.

Why I'm a Feminist?

Feminist-  The radical notion that women are people.

Last year it being a tough time for me, I honesty needed something to stay focused. One day maybe in August or July of last year. I was on the internet and I came across the most beautiful Tumblr page I had ever seen. When I looking I was seeing things like, Riot Grrl, women's rights, and the female symbol. I then look them up I believe and saw the word " FEMINISM" . I read about it on Wikipedia and realized some of the things they were talking about were what I believed in. Equality, oppression and the struggles of being a female. Days after that I began to research feminism. I liked more Tumblr pages and read more blogs. In December of 2012 I began calling myself one. Telling my parents they didn't understand and still don't. A good friend of mine was the only one I can remember congratulating me. " I'm happy to know you're becoming a feminist."  She pickets in my old town and even has the word  "feminist"tattooed. I felt so happy. I knew I was apart of something great. Today I'm still learning about what's apart of my oppression and how I can can contribute. I think when I get older I will be able to do more. I feel like I'm being held back at home from doing what I really enjoy. Teenage Feminism is hard, I'm proud to be one though.

17 Facts

1: I'm the youngest of 4 girls.
2: I love quirky socks.
3: I love watching movies.
4: I barely sleep.
5: My legs never get hairy .
6 : I spend most of my money on jewelry.
7: I listen to music when I'm sad.
8: I'm not Good at math.
9: I love reading magazines.
10 : I've always wanted to visit India. I love the culture.
11: I'm one of Lena Dunham's biggest fans.
12: I wanted to write first because of the tvshow  SEX and The City.
13: I have a unlucky number which is "13".
14: My favorite holiday is Christmas.
15: I live Frida Khalo art/pictures.
16: I often look for Native American type clothing to wear.
17 : I have no preference of music taste.

Poetry's Friday ( Mostly)

Mostly.
I feel so empty.
Happy is something I'll never be.
I feel sad .
I  feel bad.
Silver linings I can't see.
Not all the time .
Mostly.