Being Teen

I spent my 13th birthday in the hospital and that's pretty much how my teen years have been. I'm 17 now and soon I won't be a kid anymore. I'm anticipating the day more than anything. Imagine you had to live a certain way your whole life and could not do nothing about it. Of course my life isn't this big sad story I had some good times, I wouldn't relive them though. I expected more being teen and it wasn't anything.  You have several adults telling you to act a certain way and be a certain way and you have no interest in do any of it. I wanted to get in trouble and have stuff to look back at. I have 3 sisters who always had so much fun at my age and I'm just here taking up space. l never got into anything because my mother moved around and I always in some kind of trouble. Also I felt misplaced like I was falling behind. I see other teens my age and its seems like there maturing faster than me. I missed out on so much like life paused for me and no one else. I'm not in highschool now and I really don't want to go back. I'll be a senior this year and the more I realize how far I am from actually finishing school, I get sad.  Like people my age are doing so much already with their lives and I'm unaware of where I'm going to be next year. Maybe first get far away from this town then get a nice job and try to finish school the best way I can. Get my own place in Chicago and become a writer like I said  I was going to be.  When I get older I'm going to do all the things I wanted to do as a teenager. It doesn't stop here.