Not Really Focused on Boys

The reason I'm not focused on boys is because well,there really isn't enough. By enough I mean not a lot of boys are my type. I have a lot of types but I usually go for a sweet,kind, quite, smart, odd,and attractive boy. The problem ( not to be offensive) is finding the last part ,attractive. I'm at a place in my life that I only have lust for boys nothing more. I often seem to be only acquainted with unattractive boys. Also it's not even that personality is a huge part of that. Most boys that I talk to are either on drugs or weird, too weird .Also when I really like a boy I become very shy.
Or when I do talk to them eventually I act very awkward. I become a stalker and get very needy. I get so nervous and overwhelmed. Its crazy. I wish they knew that. Its hard. Also since  I'm not in school I kinda have nobody to look at. I mean how can you focus on something that's not even there. In conclusion my standards are too high, I fall to hard,and they just don't exist my world. Other than that I love boys♥♥